February 2012
54 posts
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“He is long winded… like his farts.”
– Marley
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That perfect balance and wisdom between patience/inaction and impetuousness/agency: I will never fucking get it.
Oh well. Every problem is just a puzzle to be solved, even if I’m not as intuitive as I would like to be. Sharpen your knives!
10:41 into Being Elmo and there are tears. teeeeeaaaaaarrrrsss.
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Sometimes, the week ends, and all you’ve managed to do is Febreze and Tide pen your clothes. Sometimes, this is qualifies as a total failure. Sometimes, it is nothing short of a momentous victory.
Ugh.
Attached, please find an incomplete list of the companies my grandmother has called and complained to.
Best,
Amy
Yogurtland. The complaint: their product melted too quickly. She wanted her money back.
Clairol (or in her exact words, Lady Clairol. These complaints were lodged either in the 1950s or the 1300s.) The complaint: she uses Clairol hair dye. Her shampoo (note: not Clairol brand)...
Amy: Oh nooo! I left my weed in that jacket!
Marley: Ooooh your smoking jacket.
“Four people Liked your comment. I think there’s a good chance of you...”
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“You’re really funny tonight! I just wanna stay home and drink a bottle of...”
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“I wanna give high fives to all you guys!”
– Marley, on Galentine’s Day
Time to switch gears from Lana Del Rey to Pink Martini, from leftover In N Out to Baked French Toast Casserole, because it’s Galentine’s Day at apartment 4!
Numerous boys have wished us a happy Galentine’s day; some have even donated items. I feel very fortunate to have such good eggs (and devoted dads) in my life. I choo-choo choose all of you.
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Listen
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Groupwise is like Outlook’s deformed stepbrother. It basically has an arm growing out of its fucking forehead. Its father is Netscape Navigator, and its mother is a mouth breather who works at the DMV.
Do you know how hard life is when you can’t search by an email’s content? Do you know how organized I have to be? Do you know how organized I am? Not that organized! I...
Watch
Valentine's Day Storytelling
February 13, 2010:
I was at a Seven Deadly Sins party. It was uninspired. I remember talking to Kat Brown beforehand about dressing up as Wrath, and she said something like, “oh, so-and-so is going as Wrath” and I was all, “well, when she sees my outfit, all she’s gonna be is Envy.” And then I didn’t bother dressing up after all (classic!). BUT I did get drunk;...
MEL YOU SO FUNNY!
Yes, I took Caltrain to work, but only because I could not raise enough venture capital for a jetpack. Sand Hill Road can s my mfing d.
Are you working at Stanford now?!
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Preface: my mom knows a surprising amount about football.
Joel keeps asking mom questions about old 49ers players. Then she answers them. And Joel will look up me with this Andy Dwyer “ooooooooh” face.
He’s provoking her but WE’RE ALL LEARNING SOMETHING!
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Joel at work
me: question
me: do you remember when taco bell made salad dressings in the 90s?
me: like, taco bell pepperoni pizza flavored salad dressing?
Joel: of course i think about it all the time
Joel: but i cant really talk
Joel: im watching Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie
